At times it’s very hard to look towards the future because of my “chronic illness. I don’t know how my health is going to be tomorrow or even just five years from now. Three years has already gone by since I was first diagnosed with my first autoimmune disease and so much has happened. My friends and family know that I am sick but most don’t know the struggles that I live with every single day. Everyday I fight a chronic illness, and every single day I live in some sort of pain related crisis with at least one of my illnessess. I have a hard time living beyond what I can do today.
I have become used to the name chronic illness, I am almost immune to it but if I really think about, it’s too much to process when facing “Chronic illness,” because that means forever, instead I try to live day to day.
Most of my friends and family don’t know that most of my days consist of two to three doctor appointments with one of my many specialist or my primary. I also have a hand full of medication in the morning, a couple in the afternoon, and another handful at night and I will always have to take these pills. Some of my medication is necessary just to survive and missing one isn’t an option..
“Medication can take three to six months to start working…even though I will still have pain, and sometimes I think it’s not working until I stop taking it and find out it was working.
“The financial and emotional burden on my family is heavy. I feel guilty most days because I can not work and contribute to my family. If I could work and give my fair share things would be easier for all of us. Not being able to give my family the security of what’s going to happen next week… or even tomorrow takes a toll on all of us, especially my children.
“The hardest part of living in this nightmare is functioning in an unfuctionable body from lack of sleep due to pain… Most nights I wake up for hours and go back to bed after giving in the pain medicine. I wake up exhausted.
Even with all of this, I keep a positive attitude and I am thankful every single day that I get.
What things make living with autoimmune the worst for you?
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