I am convinced, now more than ever, that my childhood prepared me for this battle of illnesses that, simply put, is trying to kill me physically as well as mentally. I have struggled with so many illnesses in the last three years, every time I go to the doctor it seems there is just more diagnosed illnesses on top of what I already have. It should be overwhelming for me and perhaps I should be sitting in a corner sucking my thumb, rocking back and forth, but I am actually at peace. I want to share how I am able to handle and process these things that have been happening to me.
We all have feelings and that’s a really good thing because that enables us to love others and respect each other but our feelings can also be a very damaging thing as well. For me my feelings either control my situation or I control my feelings and overcome my circumstances.
It is ok to feel worried or scared, but I have found that in order to control my feelings about bad news I have to consciously tell myself how long I am going to have negative feelings.
I literally have to stop and think about how I feel about each situation. I cannot group all of my issues together as one big problem, that would be too much, I have to look at things in a smaller scale. I choose not to worry. I choose to keep in mind the some of my situations are overwhelming, but I also search for the best outcome. I try and stay in control of my feelings.
I have had to face many circumstances that have been out of my control. I have had to accept that’s it is ok to feel down and confused at times but only for a short period. I have to be responsible to bring myself back out of negativity and control my feelings about the circumstance that come my way. It’s ok to not be ok, as long as I don’t stay there for long.