Living with brain fog.
Brain fog is something that a lot of people with Lupus struggle with and we have to do the best we can to work through it. People that we deal with on a day to day basis don’t quite understand what this feels like. They mean well, when they complete our sentences, but that only rushes us to think what we are trying to say. We see the impatient look on their faces waiting for us to get the words out and it further complicates our thinking process. It kind of makes us not want to communicate at all sometimes. Because of the brain fog, putting a sentence together can be difficult. We frantically try to search for the one word that we have used a million times but we can’t think of it in mid-sentence. It’s like trying to reach something in the dark. For me personally, I have lost a lot of control over many things in my life because of Lupus, this brain fog is just another stumbling block. In many cases I can’t control my cognitive thinking.
I have an impeccable long-term memory but my short-term memory has become severally hampered because of Lupus. I ask the same questions over and over again, not knowing I had already asked the same questions several times before. I can’t remember small things any more. Sometimes, I cannot even remember what day of the week it is, much less the year.
Although I wouldn’t wish a chronic illness on anyone, I think my illness has given me a different perspective on some things in life. It’s made me appreciate the little things that I used to take for granted like getting up and going to work,driving and walking around the grocery store or even to the gym. I used to have the ability to work with my hands,the ability to get up and go whenever I pleased. However, because of Lupus, freedom to do as I please has been drastically reduced. I know that giving up is not an option for me, I have to continue to try and think things through regardless of the someone else’s lack of patience with me. I need to push through to remember things even if it takes me a little longer. I am an over-comer and I will fight this with all I have.