Behind closed doors.
Behind closed doors, here’s what you don’t see; tears from heartache, fighting for every day, crying silently, and begging to be
set free from illness, Lupus and all it encompasses. This illness has a hold of me, yes, the only way out is with God’s grace.
Life with this illness, can be a lonely place, something I have heard time and time again.
Sometimes, I am screaming inside my own head. I silently cry about the little things that are never said. I feel so guilty for the
things that I miss in my life and my children’s life. I hear people say to me, “when you feel better,” and my heart aches for those days. The question is, when will I feel better?
Life is so short, I realize that every day. Each day is a blessing, even if I am in pain. I must live with my body and make the best of what I have. My life goals have changed, it’s no longer about me only, it’s about what I can accomplish for God while I’m still here. Will I make a difference today in the world? Will I make someone’s day?
The chains of pain, the turmoil in my head, the hurting heart, the weakened body, I feel as if these are just excuses in my head to
hold me back. I have to run, run with my life! God has a plan, and I have to stand.