What if God wants to use you and what you are going through to reach someone else? What if He wants to heal you so that your story can heal someone else? I know that I often see myself as insignificant but God does not see me that way! He sees me and you differently than how we see ourselves. He sees us stronger than we give ourselves credit for, he sees us as victorious, significant, and he wants for us to live the abundant life that he prepared for us before we were even born.

We were made to RISE above! Whatever you are facing today, it does not define who you are. Maybe you have an illness, depression, addiction, abuse, anxiety, or past regrets, whatever it is God has a plan. Be still and you will find it.


Behind closed doors.


Behind closed doors.

Behind closed doors, here’s what you don’t see; tears from heartache, fighting for every day, crying silently, and begging to be
set free from illness, Lupus and all it encompasses. This illness has a hold of me, yes, the only way out is with God’s grace.
Life with this illness, can be a lonely place, something I have heard time and time again.
Sometimes, I am screaming inside my own head. I silently cry about the little things that are never said. I feel so guilty for the
things that I miss in my life and my children’s life. I hear people say to me, “when you feel better,” and my heart aches for those days. The question is, when will I feel better?
Life is so short, I realize that every day. Each day is a blessing, even if I am in pain. I must live with my body and make the best of what I have. My life goals have changed, it’s no longer about me only, it’s about what I can accomplish for God while I’m still here. Will I make a difference today in the world? Will I make someone’s day?
The chains of pain, the turmoil in my head, the hurting heart, the weakened body, I feel as if these are just excuses in my head to
hold me back. I have to run, run with my life! God has a plan, and I have to stand.

Trusting requires not knowing the answers.

Trusting requires not knowing the answers.

I trust God, but it is not always easy.  I don’t think it is supposed to be, however it’s a choice that I have to make daily. Trusting requires not knowing any of the answers and not knowing what the ending is. It’s not in my nature to step back and just let it play out but with my this unpredictable illness, my only constant and my only hope is God. God has saved me many times over so far. From the outside it doesnt look pretty but I have peace on the inside and I see that he has never left me. Is it tough?…yes absolutely but I know that in my weakness he is made strong.

It’s a new race today.

 It’s a new race today.
Hebrews 12: 1-2a
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…”
This morning, I want us to finish strong the race that is set before us. It’s a brand new day, and it may seem like the same old race but I assure you, it is a new race today. Today, feel stronger, more alive, feel like you are a winner and this race is very doable. The route or path has been laid out for us, God has chosen my route and He has chosen your specific route. Now, we must lay aside everything that hinders us from running this race well and finishing this race strong. Endurance only comes to those who have proven themselves in the race by running daily and by focusing on the goal that is set before them. The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong (Ecclesiastes 9:11) but to those who have focus and stamina to run the race skillfully. Today, in whatever you do, do it well and finish strong.

Luck is the religion of the lazy.

  • Luck is the religion of the lazy.
    When the world seems as though it would spin out of control, where can I
    find peace? When I was growing up, impoverished and abused, I thought
    the life I was living was normal. It wasn’t until much later in life that what
    I endured as a child was far from the normal life a child should bear. Now
    that I am older and I have suffered from the abuse of a disease called lupus,
    I look for moments of peace and contentment. Those moments, I once
    thought, was lucky moments but I have grown to realize luck really had nothing
    to do with those peaceful moments. Luck is the religion of the lazy. Sitting
    and waiting for luck is like wishing I might win the lottery without ever
    buying a ticket. Looking back, I see the moments where I found
    peace in my life were actually blessings, moments in time when I felt safe
    and secure. I didn’t recognize those moments as a child, but looking back
    now I see those moments were given to me by grace.
    This week, my primary doctor, who has been a God send, told me he was
    moving away to another city. I was devastated, he had been the only
    doctor who would truly listen to my complaints about the dreaded effects
    of Lupus has had on my body. He not only listened, he felt empathy and
    compassion for me in my suffering. He has truly been a blessing to me and
    my husband. It wasn’t by luck that I met him, it was a blessing, a
    caring person that God had provided that would listen, understand and go
    into action. He had to separate me from a few really bad doctors that were
    not helping me at all and quite frankly some were doing more harm than
    good. God sent me someone that played a vital role in my walk with this
    I had a choice this week; I could have had a melt down and started
    worrying about what I would do now since the one doctor that I trusted
    was leaving, but instead, I have had peace that God was going to do something new in my life and I am going to let Him have His way. It’s much easier to trust God for His blessings than wait for luck to appear magically.
    Now I face a new doctor in the next coming weeks, and I have no idea if he is going to be as helpful or if he be just another doctor that does not take my illness seriously. I will not trust luck, I will trust God that He is starting yet another chapter in my life. He has always moved in my life, many times that I did not recognize as a child and a young adult, but now I watch for those moments, believing God has my best interest at heart. I have learned to look beyond the raging storms of my life and see the hand of God calming the wind, the waves and vanquishing the impending doom. I trust God for His blessings, luck has nothing to do with.

God didn’t make me sick!

God didn’t make me sick!
My plans do not always line up with God’s plans. I never pictured my life to be consumed with Lupus at thirty eight. The picture in my mind of how my life would play out didn’t include illness or troubles. We all have visions of our own future and how we expect our life to evolve. The stumbling blocks in our life never seem self-evident.
Right now, I have a stomach that is paralyzed, it’s called gastroparesis. I have Lupus, heart issues and nervous system problems. I don’t know what God’s plan is right now but no matter what God is doing right now, even if, I feel that sometimes I have received the short end of the stick, I can’t be mad. Life isn’t always fair, and it’s not always easy. That’s where people get caught up with blaming God. They blame him for all of the bad stuff. God allows things to happen and sometimes we don’t understand why, but that doesn’t mean He is against me and doesn’t mean He is not concerned. he loves me and I know it. Even now though I may be suffering He is still speaking, still leading me, still using me to help others. .
 Of course, I want healing but even if he doesn’t heal me physically, it’s ok. I am still here, right now. For as long as I am here, all I can do is make the best of it. Even if I wasn’t sick, I should be doing that, being sick has just made me more aware. Maybe my illness is a platform to help somebody else know him. Maybe I don’t have another 50 years, who knows, I may have one year or one day but no matter the time I have left here I have to make the best of what I have.
I believe that God is always moving. I believe that God has a plan just for me, plans for me to prosper, he has my best interest in mind. It is God who gives me hope and a future. He had my life planned out before I was even a thought in my mother’s mind. He has never left me alone, even the times I wasn’t walking with him.