Before I was even diagnosed with Lupus, I struggled with worry and anxiety. I tried my best to handle it on my own but I couldn’t seem to let go of the what if’s. When I got diagnosed with Lupus, I had no idea how to handle it. It hit me right to the core. Whenever uncertain things happened to me, it would send me straight into anxiety and panic mode. In my head, I would take bad news and go for a run with it. It would become so overwhelming that at times my anxiety was out of control. My anxiety would build up until it was too much for me to process and the slightest things would send me into tears.
Since I have had Lupus, I have had a lot of bad news come my way for the last 3 years, but I have had to learn new ways to handle things. Sometimes it is really scary and hard to not think about what might or might not happen but I have had to learn to control my anxiety level. As we all know, stress only heightens the pain in someone with Lupus, and other illnesses. I had to learn that not only was it bad for my health but it was bad for spirit and not good for my family either.
My health is a main concern of mine, it is a consistent issue that I deal with everyday of my life. I can’t run from it, I have no choice but to face it head on. I have learned not to worry myself over the things that I have no control over. If I were to sit and worry about what may or may not happen it would drive me insane. I wouldn’t be able to function and I would only get more ill.
Instead, whenever I am faced with bad news, I stop and process the situation, then I pray about it because God is my refuge and strength when I need it most. I don’t go through the what ifs, instead I go through, what God can do through me?
God is always working in my life, always doing something new, even in the middle of chaos and confusion. I find peace and hope in the fact that I know even when I am facing my biggest battles that God is in control. I have learned to look beyond what the eye can see because God is always moving.