This is my personal journey of my life. I have Lupus. I hope to use this blog as a platform to share my personal testimony.

Heart Troubles.

 

I have heard this a lot lately, “I don’t understand why God allows such hard struggles to happen to good people.” Let me first say this, God doesn’t make bad things happen, this is not heaven, things in this world are not perfect and if you are a believer in Christ you will know that Satan is going to test your faith in God because he wants you to turn. He has no reason to test the faith of an unbeliever, he already has them where he wants them. 

 

 It was only last week that I found out that Lupus is beginning to affect my heart. I have had arrhythmias for a while now, and I have struggled through dizzy spells and chest pains for some time.  Last week when the new cardiologist did another EKG and it came back abnormal, reality struck. I don’t know, maybe I subconsciously hoped that all the others were wrong, but it was like a massive wave of reality hit me in the face and still I had some peace with it at the same time. He confirmed what I already knew, that Lupus was attacking any part of my body that was healthy.  I can’t say that it’s not overwhelming to face so many things at one time, I am human, and to be honest there are a lot of moments I wish it would all just magically go away but I have learned something through all of this.  Without the hard times, where is my strength going to come from? I have a choice to run and blame it all on God for not healing me right now or face the challenge head on. I choose to face whatever comes my way, head on, because I know who my hero is and who is going to win the challenges that I face.   I choose to run to God, because,” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

 

I learned that verse the first time I went to Guatemala about 7 years ago. I climbed my first mountain, with swollen ankles and legs, in the dead heat. I couldn’t make it without a lot of struggle. I was unprepared physically and mentally for a mile hike in the dead heat on the side of a mountain. It took every bit of strength out of me to get to the top and then even more strength after a long day in the heat getting back.  I didn’t know then but my autoimmune conditions were kicking my butt.  I learned something that year though, anytime something went array or unplanned, and there was quite a bit, we prayed.  We prayed with everything we had anywhere we were, for little things like a lost bag, to big things for security in another country to let our group ahead of us in and God answered every time. You know why, He Had A PLAN and we were following his plan, we just had to ask for his will be done. He likes to talk to us!! I have learned over the years to trust in him in all things that I face. Life isn’t easy and you are not going to have anything handed over to you without work involved. God is the same way, there will be trials, and struggles and work. You will have to trust and have faith. But I promise you, God will see that you get to the other side. As for me on this journey that  I am on, it is just another mountain I have to climb, the only difference now is I well-equipped because I know who my strength comes from.

 

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